Eric's Kooky Kristian Kulture Page

explores destructive fringe elements of American Fundamentalist Christianity

This page found at http://www.phact.org/e/kristian.html last updated 02/01  - Note: I certainly don't mean to imply that all Christians fall for such silliness.
RETURN TO KING JAMES STYLE ENGLISH, in many churches people pray using thee's thines thous and art - usually with incorrect declension. There's some implication that mimicking an outdated style of English somehow honors God. In some "we're more fundamentalist than thou" churches - there's an atavistic drive to insist that pulpit bibles must be the old error-filled hard to understand 500 year old english. Fundamentalists originally died to make the word of God available to common folk and now some of them intentionally make it hard to understand. What's that about? It's almost like there is a human conspiracy to obfuscate deity contact - to be a good jew you must learn hebrew, the holy book of Islam is not to be translated out of old style Arabic, Hindu scriptures can only be studied in Sanskrit for years American catholics had to listen to mass in Latin. Are these people saying that god is so linguistically inept that we must translate for him? Is the American legal system a religion since they have a unique mutated dialect not understood by us lessor paid infidels.

SPEAKING IN TONGUES - in spite of questionable proof that it's real, many churches encourage it's practice as part of their main church service. For some reason, churches that practice that have a high incidence of pastors practicing sexual misconduct. A letter by one who takes offense by my last statement

STEEPLES - they are simply an assimilated pagan artifact (likely phallic symbols) - yet churches feel compelled to pay great money to maintain them even though many churches burn from the lightening strikes and many paralyzed people who tried to maintain them. The only value I can think is to remind people which way is up.

THE EARTH IS FLAT OR ONLY 6000 YEARS OLD, many fundamentalist ministers with no scientific training insist that sunday school classes try to indoctrinate kids on these lines - leaving many to throw out all the teachings when they find out that young earth evidence is faked. Young earth 'scientists' easily defeat unprepared biologists in open debates but get totally trounced when debated people familiar with their poorly substantiated claims. It's sad that many young people are given phony science along with their faith. I've known a number of young Christians who just end up throwing it all away when they figure out that the earth has obviously been around a while. Check out responses to young earth theory

FOLLOWING MIRACLE WORKERS. Many of the devout in churches want to see more tangible evidence of gods power. The people who claim to demonstrate it in large auditoriums seem to be hoaxers who get rich. Luckily religious grifters seem to be fading in power (maybe having a lot of them in jail has jaded the faithful)

"SATAN IS BEHIND EVERY TREE" for a while there were speakers going around claiming that satanists were everywhere kidnapping children having human sacrifices etc. There's turned about to be little evidence for such scare tactics. -some of these people have merged with false memory promoters and conspiracy theorists. As of May 97, I just heard that some born againers now consider Walt Disney cartoons to be laced with phallic images and pro satanic messages. - this is absurd! Disney cartoons are as family as you can get. Actually some kooks think Disney Stories warn of the end times Some of these paranoid types may as well just become Amish. here's a cute list of Beast stuff: A collection of Numbers of the Beast

666 Number of the beast 668 Neighbor of the beast 660 Approximate number of the Beast DCLXVI Roman numeral of the Beast 666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast 0.666 Number of the Millibeast 1/666 Common Denominator of the Beast 666[-/(-1)] Imaginary number of the Beast 1010011010 Binary of the Beast 29A Hexidecimal of the Beast -666 Negative number of the Beast 00666 Zip code of the Beast $665.95 Retail price of the Beast $699.25 Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax $769.95 Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul $656.66 Wal-Mart price of the Beast $646.66 Next week's Wal-Mart price of the Beast Phillips 666 Gasoline of the Beast Route 666 Way of the Beast 665 Older brother of the Beast 667 Younger brother of the Beast 6-6-6 Fertilizer of the Beast 666lb cap Weight limit of the Beast 666 F Oven temperature for cooking roast "Beast" 666k Retirement plan of the Beast 666 mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast 6.66% 5 year CD rate at First Beast of Hell, $666 minimum deposit. 1-800-666-6666 Toll free number of the Beast Lotus 6-6-6 Spreadsheet of the Beast Word 6.66 Word Processor of the Beast i66686 CPU of the Beast 666i BMW of the Beast 666-66-6666 Social security number of the Beast 666.AC.com URL of the Beast IAM 666 License plate number of the Beast Formula 666 All Purpose Cleaner of the Beast WD-666 Spray Lubricant of the Beast 66.6 MHz FM radio station of the Beast 666 KHz AM Radio station of the Beast  Beast Number-
"ESCATOLOGY" -END OF THE WORLD PREDICTIONS- churches rarely support this - but millions of christians as individuals have spent all kinds of money and time getting hyped up about the latest theory of when Jesus is going to come back and kick but. It definitely hypes up the faithful - but only works for so long before people get burnt out. there was a big scam in 1992 by a Korean evangelist who claimed the world was going to end Oct. 15. He was captured by police with much of his followers money in bonds maturing next decade. Recent excitement has been over the gulf war which was touted as the rise of Babylon and of course people are coming out of the wood work concerning the end of the millennia. Some believers in end times have links to militias and conspiracy theorists (people who think the jews, satanists, one worlders, Illuminatti, et al are going to throw us all into concentration camps.
 Gary North - a good example of such paranoiaas tMy summary of ways the world could really end A Brief History of the Apocalypse

"MAKE MONEY SCAMS" -there are all kinds of people in churches pushing multi-level marketing scams. I saw a "Christian" Ponzi scam out of Florida where people send cash in mail and receive "gifts" back.  Of course the New ERA scam hurt many people. One of the biggest christian scams in more ignorant circles is the Dennis Lee free energy cult. people who believe that claimed convert to christianity, Dennis Lee has been inspired by God to design a free energy machine have invested $10,000 each to become distributors. Dennis also believes the US government is conspiring to kill and suppress inventors of wonderful amazing machines. For more information, see: Dennis Lee's amazing energy claims Dennis has several times gotten Christian media to help him (the media then fails to make retractions when discovering they were in error)

"PHONY ARCHEOLOGY" there's a bunch of distributors of newsletters talking of fake Noah's ark artifacts, since-debunked support for the shroud of Turin, bogus (ashes of the red heifer) discoveries in Israel, etc. Christian book stores have a number of these fringe books.

1920's STYLE MUSIC This is a young vs old issue. Most church hymns use a music style which was considered risqué and worldly a few generations back. They consider any modern musical style to be evil. Of course if you look out in most of the churches that pay strict loyalty to anything old, you will just see a sea of gray hair. the more happening growing churches have given up the drab chant style music for guitars and drums.

DISNEY IS EVIL! The newest fear fad seems to be looking for filth in America's quintessential family entertainment: Disney. If you look at enough Disney images - you can interpret weird stuff. Fine, I can show you pornographic images in the Sunday school information. Sure, some of the pictures made by Mirimax which happens to be owned by Disney aren't family fare and Disney has gotten as cut throat as most big companies. I accept that they can't kick gays out of the park. I've always expected that a high percentage of artists, song writers and designers are homos - what's new? I just don't want to see a bunch of paranoid witch-hunt fear mongering in the church making Christians greater outcasts (hey how many people do the evil-avoiding Amish help into the kingdom ?) and forcing children to pay an unnecessary price for their faith. Why don't we tell our kids, "don't play basketball - Dennis Rodman plays it", "can't eat candy - could be trick or treat candy" "sleep on the floor - people do evil in beds" "you can't have toys - some look like demons" "all you can do is stand in the corner and quiver in fear"
good information on the disney boycott

Pat Robertson Yes,  sorry to break it to you, but Pat may be better than Swaggert or Jim Baker - but he's still a hypocritical self-promoting peice of scum.  He has been involved in a number of different scams including paying $150,000 to con man Dennis Lee and then refusing to come clean about it.  He also made 100's of millions selling out his entire TV network to filth-promotor Rupert Murdoch.  Most Christians lacked the guts to report this openly. Pat Robertson's Fringe Quotes  Pat Robertson's Scams Pat's nutty book  More Kooky rants by Pat

hey, I'm not trying to knock any ones faith here. I think if more of this garbage could be washed out, Christianity would retain more intelligent stable people and less flash-in-the-pan fanatics
For a look at much greater irrationality, check out
 
  • Eric's crackpot page
  • A great look at Conspiracy Theories and Extremist Groups
  • review of questinoable evangelists
  • a rational look at "Christian Patriot" nonsense
  • More looks a wackiness in Christianity
  •  Serious look at science and Christianity
  • religious tolerance
  •  More Rants by Eric
  •  How the Catholic Church covers helps Pedophile Priests
  •  Exposing the facts behind the Christian Identity movement -this is a dangerous movement tricking tricking the patriots like:  Racial Identity Bible Studies
  • Mega-Messiahs. Roadside America -kooky Christian shrines
  • "Churches ad hoc", Chapter One
  •  crackpot Christian Gadgets for God

  •  

     
     
     
     
     

    -- please help me get publicity for this page
     


    FastCounter by LinkExchange

    return to eric's home page