Text: Thursday, July 29, 2004 (5:22 PM) Daily Quado: A reader asks: I have recently met a man who is quite a bit younger than I am. He has a very mature and focused spirit, but I seem to be bound by my own fears and insecurities of our age difference. Just in case you need to know, it is quite a huge age span: 16 years. We REALLY like each other. I KNOW you say there is NO right or wrong, but this may be the exception! Quado, do you have a response to this question? Yes, of course, of course. No, of course there is no absolute right or wrong about age span in couples. Why would there be? But there are situations and there are consequences, as with anything else, and you must simply weigh these. If your primary concern is what other people think, then this will be an excellent lesson in letting that go. Why should you live in fear of what others think? Let them think what they will and enjoy being with whomever you wish. But there could be other situations you might want to consider, if this is a serious commitment. And the first, since you are the female and he is the male, is whether he wishes to have children and whether this is still something you can and want to do. This would be the primary consideration which you might bear in mind, and something that, at the right time in your relationship, you should openly and seriously talk about. And of course, in that discussion, you should be completely honest and open about how you feel, even though it might threaten the foundations of your relationship. And other than that, what is the concern? It may be difficult for him when you are eighty, but that may never occur in any event. Relax and let things be. Why not? And if this is just about having fun, learning a new person, opening up and letting things flow whichever way they wish to flow, then absolutely: flow. There is an element to life that is too often overlooked: fun. Yes, just plain old fun. It is possible you know, to just enjoy this man¹s company and to let things be as they are and as they will be. It is possible to enjoy the attraction between two people, take it where it will go, and not worry about whether it is The Relationship, whether he is The Man, and simply have fun and enjoy exploring a new person. Too often people are afraid to allow themselves to care because they are afraid of the pain of separation and ending. But everything ends in one way or another. And everyone in love separates to some extent as time goes on. The answer to all of that is not to wait for the perfect man, the perfect relationship, the ultimate soul mate, but to enjoy and explore and be open to many different kinds of relationships, many different kinds of people. Be inventive, be creative. Come up with your own relationships, your own arrangements. And if this one is only for a few months or a few years, where is the harm of that? Just enjoy yourself. It would probably be very healthy and very interesting to find out what someone younger than you is thinking and feeling. It may help you keep on the pulse of life. And certainly, letting go of your fears of offending either God or the people around you is a marvelous thing. What a lovely opportunity to just be. Not to have expectations. Not to have anxiety about whether this is it, just to be. Just feel what you feel and let him do the same. Just express how you feel, honestly and openly, and let him do the same. And then, just let it be what it is. Doesn¹t that sound easy? Doesn¹t that sound relaxed? Doesn¹t that sound like fun? If you have a question you believe might interest other Quado readers, please send it to carriehart@msn.com Visit www.carriehart.com for meditation CDs, healing services, music and more. This newsletter is distributed free of charge. Just send an email with Subscribe or Unsubscribe as the subject to carriehart@msn.com . Copyright 2004 by Systematique, Inc.

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