RELATIONSHIPS, QUADO
Text: Saturday, July 31, 2004 (8:14 AM) Daily Quado: Note from Carrie: I am absolutely delighted to share with you the latest Quado meditation. The Quado Abundance meditation takes you through the steps of clearing and balancing yourself, visualizing and feeling what you would like in your life, and then offering these seeds up to the bountiful universe, where they will be planted and grow into a full life of abundance. In other words, Quado has given you a guide to fulfilling your desires. Hear samples on: http://www.carriehart.com/abundance_meditation.htm There are two versions: a full-length meditation (29 minutes) which includes an absolutely marvelous full chakra clearing and a short meditation (12 minutes) so that you never have to go a day without focusing on how you would like to create your own life. I have found the meditation to be deeply centering, giving me both an appreciation for things exactly as they are as well as opening up the flow of wonderful new things coming my way. I sent it out to a few Quado readers for an advance review. Here is one response: "WOW! This CD brings me to a whole new level of personal growth and healing. It teaches me how to deeply love myself and, in doing so, allow the flow of abundance from the universe into my life. What a gift you and Quado have given me, Carrie. Thank You!" Denise Tenyer Other comments can also be found on: http://www.carriehart.com/abundance_meditation.htm If you have been listening to the Quado Meditation on Self-Love, you will find this the next logical step. You may also do what I do, which is to use both of them in combination, depending upon what is happening in your life at the time and what you feel you need. Hereıs another comment from someone who tried the meditation: ³The Quado Abundance Meditation was intensely loving and a very strong and deep journey. I felt blockages open and dissipate into the loving energy of mother earth. The amount of love and comfort that pours forth in this CD is enormous and beyond words! Bless you both!² Rev. Debbie Jacques The meditation is available in both MP3 and CD. It is available for shipment now. Just go to http://www.carriehart.com/abundance_meditation.htm , listen to samples and then place your order. I have kept the price low ($5 MP3 and $10 CD) so that it would be within reach for all of you. I also included one of my favorite songs from my ³Itıs Personal² album called ³All I Have to Do is Believe.² Hereıs a response to that song: "This morning when I awoke, I listened to track 3 first and heard your beautiful voice singing that uplifting song about Believing. What an amazing CD!" Stella Ramsey You can order via PayPal or send a check or international money order. Just go to: http://www.carriehart.com/abundance_meditation.htm And now for Quado: A reader asks: I just read Quado's response to a woman meeting a younger man. Does Quado propose going from one relationship to another because it feels good? What about impacting others due to lack of trust/permanence, pre-planned obsolescence, ego gratification, whatever? Is there a place for commitment at this level of spiritual enlightenment? Note: This question refers to the Quado message of July 29th. If you missed that message, or any other message in July, you will find it on http://www.carriehart.com/archives.htm . Quado, do you have an answer to this question? Ah, yes, of course, of course. There are so many levels and layers to this question and what lies behind it, so many things I wish to say that this question calls forth, that we can only hope that Carrie has the patience to stay with me while I explore many different topics and give her a little workout today. First, let us address whether it is all right to go from relationship to relationship. I would ask that you look at life a bit differently. Rather than being a serious search for The Right Relationship, what if you were to take life with a lighter hand and trust that God or the universe, or whatever you wish to call the force behind your life, perhaps fate if you prefer that, knows better than you do? What if you were to assume that the best way to live is to surrender to life and let it bring what it will? This could mean not having expectations that life will bring one mate for your entire life as society has proposed it should. Perhaps life will bring many different people with different types of relationships. Is this a bad thing? It is neither bad nor good, it simply is. As you must be aware, if you are a spiritual quester, one of the primary things taught in spiritual growth is not having expectations, not pulling yourself into the cycle of expectation and disappointment. What would happen if, instead of forcing each relationship to some sort of conclusion which meets your expectations, making it be either a full commitment or a great disappointment, you were to take it for what it is? And what is that? Well, it would be different in every case, would it not? For you are a unique individual, one of a kind in this world, and so is the other person you are dealing with. And why should this relationship of these two wonderful, complete, whole and utterly unique people fit into a mold that society has painted as being perfect for all people, for all relationships? Does that make sense? If you are unique and your new friend is unique, why should your partnership not be unique? And if that uniqueness leads to a commitment that both feel, if it leads to a partnership of many years duration, perhaps a lifetime, if it leads to children and family and a little house with a white picket fence, then fine, that is what it leads to. But if you are to be together only for a time, why should that time not be blessed with glory and joy, with fun and excitement, with all that it can possibly bring? Ah, it is the pain of separation that looms over you and of course, you are looking for a guarantee. You are looking for a guarantee that if you give your heart, if you allow this person to share your life and your love, if you open yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable, that they will not then walk away and leave you alone. You are looking to be filled and completed by this other person and not to be hurt. But there are no guarantees in life. And even the commitment which is truly felt and truly and openly given may change over time, as anyone who is divorced knows. Life is all about change. There are no guarantees. You cannot shield yourself from loss. You can only be complete within yourself and recognize that life is change. What are you guaranteed in life? That everything will change. And even if you find the perfect partner, that relationship will change. It has to, for people are not static. And if your life is a fight to retain, a fight to stop change, to keep everything just as it is, then you will fail, you will be disappointed. For that is the only true guarantee. Everything, everything, even if you see it as wonderful and perfect, even if you see it as horrible and flawed, everything will change. And so, knowing this, why be so serious about life? Why not take life with a light hand, knowing that seasons come and go, things change and flow, and take the great blessings which are yours today? After all, as important as commitment may seem to you in your desperation to find happiness, you may die tomorrow. Or you may not. You do not know. All you have is this moment, this moment right now. And there is a person across from you who is attracted to you. And you are attracted in return. Do you push for commitment, afraid to go forward and even explore the relationship unless you have a guarantee? Or do you embrace life in this moment, taking it with a light hand and not push for anything, just enjoy the flow. Perhaps, without pushing and trying to control and trying to manipulate and make happen, you will end up friends, with just a couple of kisses between you. Perhaps you will end up lovers. Perhaps, with a light touch and no desperation, your relationship will evolve into a deep commitment which stems from a natural feeling between you. Nothing built on fear, but everything built on love and trust and caring. But trust takes time, does it not? You cannot force trust. You cannot force someone into a commitment and expect it to be lasting. You can only trust that over time, with love freely felt and freely given, that true trust will develop between you, a trust built on honesty and integrity, not on manipulation and desperation, and that it will be so open and honest that if it is time to end the relationship, that can be discussed o! penly and honestly as well. For when you have that kind of trust, you do not end the relationship, you transform it. It moves from one state to another. If no one is clinging and desperate, then relationships take a natural course. And that course has moments of chill, moments of opening like a bud to the spring sunshine, moments of hot and full blossoming, and moments when you can feel that cool air coming and know that another winter is approaching. A relationship of long duration must endure all of this. I would ask you to make commitments, yes, but commit to this. Commit to being as completely centered as you can, recognizing yourself as full and complete, so that other relationships are an addition to an already full life, not something that fills a hole and completes you. Then, if someone should leave you, you will be able to recover, after some period of mourning, perhaps, and go on, still full and complete and with a beautiful experience behind you, not just a well of pain and bitterness. And I would ask you to commit to living fully, to allowing yourself to go out on a limb and care about people. I would ask you to experience, to live a vibrant life in which you connect, in which you feel, in which you love people fully and openly, even though they have not made a lifetime commitment to you. And, of course, I would ask you to respect others, to look at them as well with consideration, caring and respect and notice if the person you are attracted to is not at a level of spiritual freedom, but is instead looking for you to fill a hole, to complete their life in a way which will someday lead to a very difficult rift. Notice this. Be aware of this. If you are whole and complete within yourself, if you are deeply centered within yourself and what is right for you, then alarms will sound when you come across a person who is grasping, needy, manipulative and looking to be filled. This person will readily commit to you, yes, but you will pay a price down the road. Notice this and steer away. You can see why people who are afraid end up in these difficult relationships, these painful rifts. It is because only fear would lead you to wish to be with someone who is that desperate. When you have two people who are incomplete and confused, who are looking outside for completion and fulfillment, then they can cling together for some time, feeling they have finally found the right one, finally reached the right place in life. Ah, at last I am in love and I am fulfilled. At last someone loves me. At last this hole within me is filled. Ah, at last I can rest for a moment, end my desperate search for happiness and know that all will be well. Now I am home and safe, for life. But it is not so. For your dependence upon this other person is too complete. You are, in fact, giving away your own completeness and center. And when they do something hurtful, you are full of blame and shame. The pain is incredible. Because you are only someone if this other person loves you, then you must be nothing if he does not. And of course, since this other person is also separate and afraid, you are not his first consideration. He is his first consideration. For your relationship is built on getting, not on giving. Now imagine instead another situation. You meet someone; you both feel whole and complete, but you also care for each other. You treat each other with dignity and respect, yes, but also with a sense of fun and adventure. You recognize that your relationship will be what it will be, that you may be together for a lifetime, but yet you may not. And it is all right. It is all right because at this moment you are full of joy and a fullness, a feeling that a great bounty has been visited upon you. It is as if you have awakened in the morning and the sun is shining and the birds are singing. Does this mean that every day will be like this? No, of course not. In fact, it is guaranteed that they will not. It is guaranteed that there will be days of clouds and rain, days which are different than this o! ne. So why not enjoy this one? Why not just run free in the sunshine, holding the hand of this dear person who has happened to cross your path on this glorious day? Why not just run free, not asking and begging and manipulating and demanding, but enjoying the sunshine of life on this glorious day? Now, of course, when you are in a relationship, a deeply committed relationship of trust and many years duration, and you happen to meet that sunshiny person on a given day outside of that relationship, that is another consideration. There you will need to consider whether a run in this sunshine is worth the risk to a relationship which has weathered many storms, is now in a bit of a fog but has a deep underlying love and trust within it. If this is the case, you may choose just to enjoy the feeling of attraction without following through, just remembering how much fun it is to flirt a little with life and then let that particular romp pass you by. You see, it is all up to you. You may make your choices in any moment. And if they are choices built on your own sense of rightness, from a center of truth and connection, then they will be good choices. If they are built up on fantasy and yearning, on a feeling that something or someone else is going to fill your life and finally fulfill you, or if they are built on fear and neediness, then you will hurt and get hurt, again and again, then pain will become the theme of relationships rather than a coming together and a loving letting go. And a word about fantasy. Fantasy can be very powerful and very dangerous. Realize how much power it has. A fantasy is a type of expectation, and if you then force relationships to conform to fantasies which you have built up, you will end up frustrated and disappointed. The state you wish to be in is not one of fantasizing about the future which will bring you what you need, but about enjoying the present which already holds all that you need. Of course it does. It holds you. And you are everything you need. Right now, this moment, you are here and you can fill yourself with love. Fill yourself with love for yourself, with love for life and then, let that overflow into love for others. And when you do this, a magical thing will happen. When you do this, people who are also centered and full and complete will be attracted to you, for you are a light glowing, not a hole to be filled. When you find your own center and let it shine, then people who are looking for someone just like you will notice you and love you, for you are a beacon, glowing with your own unique self. Glow with who you are. Who would you rather be with? Someone who is whole and complete and glowing, or someone who is a hole, a neediness, an ache and an incompleteness, waiting for you to fill them? When you are with someone, would you like them to be glowing, would you like to bask in their warmth, or would you like them to be dark and empty and pulling you in, taking your light and energy, hanging on and hoping to finally warm themselves at your fire? And what of two people who have found their own centers, who are glowing and bright with who they are? Ah, what a wonderful glow when the two of them connect, a glow which is even brighter for the joining together. And will it last a lifetime? Who can know? But right now, while it is here, it is glorious and wonderful. And if it someday shifts and changes, which is, of course, inevitable, then that can be dealt with on the day it needs to be dealt with. If you are focused in now, if you are alert and aware and living in now instead of in fantasies, regrets and yearning, then you will notice the little shifts and changes as they occur and can adjust to them, correct them if need be, flow with them, and let life evolve in its beauty toward the next wonderful thing. And remember this as well. At the highest level, you are one with all. You and every person you meet is connected to you in a deep way. So relax. You are safe. You are loved. At the highest and widest, you are together with every other person in love and joy, in peace and togetherness and a deep connection. This is the thing to be reached. And if, in this physical life, that bond is only felt for a time, then so be it. After all, there is a path to be walked and it is not only about partnership. It is also a path with stretches walked alone. And it is during the long walks alone that some of the deepest spiritual work is done. It is all good. The times alone, the times together, the mistakes and the glories, the pain and the joy. It is all life. It is all good. It all is. Donıt forget to order the new Quado Abundance Meditation. Go to http://www.carriehart.com/abundance_meditation.htm now! If you have a question you believe might interest other Quado readers, please send it to carriehart@msn.com Visit www.carriehart.com for meditation CDs, healing services, music and more. This newsletter is distributed free of charge. Just send an email with Subscribe or Unsubscribe as the subject to carriehart@msn.com . Copyright 2004 by Systematique, Inc.
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