Text: Subject: [acim-l] Re: Forgiveness Date: 18 Oct 1998 18:38:15 -0000 From: Reply-To: A Course in Miracles List To: A Course in Miracles List On 18 Oct 1998, Fiesta Cranberry wrote: > > Hi listerines, > > I just had a (for me) profound thought. Tell me what you think of this: > > What if , by "forgiveness", the course means we are to forgive OURSELVES > for other peoples errors? What I mean is, if we think the "other guy" > is a jerk, we shouldn't forgive that "other guy". Rather, we should > acknowledge that we had this thought, not try to deny that the "other > guy" is a jerk, but forgive OURSELVES for having had the thought, and > then move on. Am I way out in space on this one? I don't think you are out in space at all. On page 320 of the The Course in Miracles, Text (chapter 15, VIII) "The Only Real Relationship we read: "(6)In the face of your fear of forgiveness, which He perceives as clearly as He knows forgiveness is release, He will teach you to remember that forgiveness is not loss, but your salvation. And that in complete forgiveness, in which you recogize that there is nothing to forgive, you are absolved completely." Insofar as we create our own reality (or at least our peceptions of it) with our thoughts, our judgement of a brother (condemnation, anger, the thing we think needs to be forgiven) is of our own making. It is our judgement that creates the perception that someone else did something that needs to be forgiven. "Judge not that ye may not be judged." It seems fairly obvious to me that if we don't judge, then there is nothing we'll see that needs forgiveness in a brother. Ergo, if we do see "sin" in a brother and something that needs forgiving, what we see is our own judgement. Thus forgiving is good but realizing there never was anything to forgive (in the brother) is complete forgiveness. And that is letting go of judgement. It is my view that judgement is pretty much always the ego trying to defend itself against perceived (but illusory) threats. So what we forgive is ourselves for having the idea that we could be attacked or that such a thing as a "threat" exists in the first place. Personally, the trick for me arises when someone "lets me down" or violates an agreement or something. My first reaction is to feel hurt and anger isn't often far behind. Then I ask "why did I create this situation?" The ego says that the other person created the situtation and is "blameworthy" and the ego seeks to project guilt onto the other. Most people would agree, on the surface of it - so and so broke a promise or whatever. The Course says (to me) that my problem is with my perception and my ego, not with my brother. Forgiving my brother is a first step, correcting my perceptions is a second step. Now forgiveness is important when you are angry with someone because until you release your right to judge and condemn and blame the brother, you can't open your perception to the Holy Spirit's correction. Most recently in my life I entered into a business relationship with a friend. I did so reluctantly and with great skepticism because I "feared" he would not be able to uphold his side of the bargain. He cajoled and begged and reassured and persuaded me and I went along with him in the end. Then, six months later, in a way even worse than I had feared, he indeed cold not uphold his side of the bargain and left me holding the bag, as it were. I'm annoyed with my friend AND I am annoyed with myself AND I am annoyed with the situation. I'm working on giving this one to the Holy Spirit. I'm annoyed with my friend for saying one thing and doing quite another, I'm annoyed with myself because I did anticipate this was likely and let myself be talked out of my concerns. I'm annoyed with the situation - every time I think about it I get a bit pissed off and in trying to repress the anger have ended up expressing it to others by way of displaced anger quite inappropriately. It's also not a "small thing" in the context of immediate circumstances, it involves a LOT of money. I reject the option of responding with rage and outrage toward my friend. I remind myself that a friendship is worth more than any sum of money. However, he is feeling guilty anyway. It's hard for me to say (or think) "Hey Scott, I don't mind that you ripped me off for a lot of money through sheer negligence." I recognize that my perceptions of this one are badly twisted and there is a lot of ego and fear running about in it. I also recognize that real forgiveness is difficult for me on this one and seeing in it that "there is nothing to forgive" is difficult. I *believe* that there is never anything to forgive in reality but in this situation I still don't see it. So I am blocking correction of my own perception. It's doubly annoying that I am quite aware that I am doing that and can't seem to check it. The event in question created a number of problems. Because I didn't receive moneys the agreement said I was to receive I was not able to meet payments I'd committed to - there is quite a large domino effect. Yet I blame myself for "trusting" in a commitment from a man who I very much doubted could keep the commitment. When I made the agreement I was thinking of my doubts as "fears" that I should not listen to, I should just trust God to take care of everything and that to refuse Scott's urgent request and pleading would be "cold and calous..." So I thought of my action at the time as "kind" ... but ... that may have been ego trying to look like the "nice guy." Probably was. I do believe however that in this sort of situation forgiveness is the first and necessary step. While it appears to be "loss" I accept the Course's assertion that it isn't. At least I accept that intellectually. I believe it to be true. Now I have to *internalize* that belief and really learn to *feel* it is true. It can be difficult but I think it is necessary. So anyway - no , I don't think you are lost in space, I think you have discerned the Course's meaning here :) All the best, Doug A Course in Miracles List : 239 members (public) http://www.spiritweb.org/Spirit/acim-l.html Archive-password: jesus List-Operator: Doug Thompson

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