Text: QUADO Speaks Saturday, July 10, 2004 (7:21 AM) Daily Quado: A reader asks: I am a new supervisor. Recently, I noticed an emotional conflict between two coworkers. Despite the fact that I understand the importance of being compassionate and of working by creating healthy spaces, I made the mistake of trying to force a fix. My ego jumped in and I issued a threat even though I realized it was not the best course of action. I apologized.. I decided to let them be because, after all, the impact of the issue outside of the two of them is not as big as I had perceived. However, I am still concerned at some level for the well-being of them as people. Quado, can you please make a recommendation as to how to heal this situation, as well as advice on when is it appropriate to step in? Quado, do you have an answer to this question? Ah, yes, of course, of course. The answer to one part of your question is simple: the time to step in and clear conflicts is when it is directly affecting the work for which you are responsible. If their work is suffering or if their conflict is affecting the work of the people around them, then it is your responsibility to help them to resolve the conflict and create a healthy and productive work environment. But if this conflict affects only them privately, then you have a different case and whether or not you take any action will depend upon other factors. The mistake that you made was in not allowing your deepest inner self, your soul self, your psychic self, to direct your actions. Instead, you allowed that busy mind and ego to take over, and when you do this, you become a part of the problem. Next time you see a situation you think might need correction, you must go to a quiet place, breathe deeply and allow yourself to connect to your higher self. Either go deeply into your center, to the pool of peace in your solar plexus, or reach up over your head to the shaft of energy connecting you to your higher self. Either method will work, for your soul self resides both above you and deep within you. Just do what feels most comfortable. Breathe deeply and reach this peaceful place, a place which is unemotional and objective, a place which can feel and see things clearly, outside the influence of your egoistic emotions. And then, once you have reached your quiet centered self, ask: ³How shall I approach this issue?² And then write down the first thing that pops into your head. Write down also the feelings which accompanied the answer and any other things which occurred, perhaps something you saw in your mind¹s eye. If you are feeling connected, you may also ask, for each of the people concerned: ³What does she want?² ³What is she afraid of?² And capture the answer in words, feelings and visions as it comes to you. Do not try and push. Do not prolong the session. If the answer is emotional, then know that you may simply be hearing your own ego. Your soul self is detached and unemotional, for your soul self knows that all is well and all is as it is and should be. Your soul self simply perceives without having an emotional investment in the outcome. So seek this objective feeling as your clue to having reached the truth. The truth is not emotional. The truth simply is. And then let this answer be for a while. Return to it later and analyze it. See what you have written down. You have heard some answers, gained some psychic insight into the people and into how to solve the situation. You may receive the answer: "Let it be," in which case you simply let them work it out. You may receive direction to speak quietly to one of them or to give firm guidance. But whatever the answer is, if it feels right to you in your center as you look at it, even if it surprises you and runs counter to what your ego wished to do, take the advice. Learn to do this and amazing things will happen. You will find that people are often able to resolve things without your intervention. You will also find that you will be given guidance which will take you to the heart of the matter, giving you the key to unlocking the conflict and resolving it. When you have a difficult situation and have the time, check in at home in your quiet time in the morning. Then before you actually take action, check in quickly again to determine whether the timing is right or whether something has changed in the intervening hours. When you learn to tap into others psychically, which is what you are doing here, you will find that it is always advisable to check in ten or fifteen minutes before you are to meet or take action, to gauge their mood and receptiveness. After all, timing is everything. There are optimum times to approach people and times they are simply to be avoided. With people at your work you have an advantage, because you can practice reaching them psychically on a regular basis, experiment with taking the advice you get, and establish a linkage. Then this linkage will be there when you need it, in difficult times. Why not do this? Why not spend time each day in reaching your boss and the people who report to you? Find out what they want and need from you. Learn how they feel when they are upset and when they are peaceful. Learn to gauge their moods. Experiment with approaching them and taking the advice you are given. Link up and see how it will ease your relationships. Do this with your most important customers as well, with everyone in your life. Why not? You will perhaps have noticed a trend in all of the above, and it is a very important distinction. In all of the ways you are to learn to communicate with people, the key is in coming from their space, is seeing the world as they see it, not coming from your own space and your own ego. The key is in putting yourself within their lives, in one way or another, and giving them what they need. After all, everyone wants to feel honored and respected. Everyone wants recognition and appreciation. Everyone wants not to live in fear. Everyone wants validation. And if you can learn how each person perceives the world, what they see as signs of respect and caring, when they wish to be left alone and when they wish to be recognized, and then move from that knowledge instead of being driven by your own ! needs, your life will change. When you are coming from your own ego needs, your own desire for control or validation, then you will come into conflict with others. When you are coming from a genuine connection to their space and what they need, then you will be led to the solution which will be best for both of you, to the win-win solution which will enable you to perform your work well and yet also help them to be productive and effective within the work environment. In your quiet time alone, ask for clarity. Ask for the energy of the universe to clear your mind and heart of old energies and bring in the clearing energies of deep connection and clarity. Know that what is best for you is also best for others, for at the deepest level you are one with all that are around you. You are deeply connected with each person in your life; you are, in fact, one with them at the highest and deepest and widest. They are merely reflections of the other sides of yourself, as you and we and they all exist together. Realize this and relax. Relax your desire to control. Open up your ability to flow and let be. When the action is right, it will feel calm and settled deep inside; it will feel as a flow which is inevitable and perfect, even though it may take more courage and may require you to open up to new ways of being. There is much to be learned in your new position. Look upon it as a great experiment in learning to lead, in learning to lead yourself and everyone around you to both productive and effective work and to fulfilling lives in all ways. Get into the subtle flow of what is within the dynamics of your work. Learn how people are and tap into the flows of energies between them and you. Experiment. Dare to try new ways of relating. Dare to act from the deep truth which connects all of you instead of your own insular life. You will do well indeed. If you have a question you believe might interest other Quado readers, please send it to carriehart@msn.com Visit www.carriehart.com for meditation CDs, healing services, music and more. To hear samples from the Quado Meditation on Self-Love, go directly to http://www.carriehart.com/meditations.htm This newsletter is distributed free of charge. Just send an email with Subscribe or Unsubscribe as the subject to carriehart@msn.com . Copyright 2004 by Systematique, Inc.

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