Liz in Colorado sent me this article. Let those
Homeland Fart Hammer Security Jerks chew on this one
~Don
"That whenever any form of government becomes
destructive of [life, liberty, and the pursuit of
happiness], it is the right of the people to alter
or abolish it
" ~ Declaration of Independence of the
American Colonies, 1776
Dear Federal Government,
Drop dead.
Excuse us. Some may consider such bluntness to be
indecorous, but why beat around the bush? In any
case, we've been around this bush (Bush?) too many
times to count already. It's time to let you know
what we really think of you, what we say behind your
back, what we whisper to each other when you leave
the room.
We hate you. We want you to drop dead. Or, anyway,
to go away and never come back. You are not welcome
anymore. We have tolerated you and we emphasize
"tolerated" for a long time, long after whatever
romance there may have been was gone. We can pretend
no more. You are disgraceful, boorish, nauseating,
corrupt, shameful, arrogant, dishonest,
self-serving, parasitic, disgusting, hypocritical,
and rotten to the core. You have not even one
redeeming quality. There is nothing you offer that
we want any longer. We're not even sure what it is
we ever saw in you to begin with.
We suppose you can be forgiven if this letter comes
as a shock. "Why," you say, "what do you mean? I
still command great respect and inspire widespread
adulation. And I still care about you. Isn't it
obvious?"
It's true that, in public, we often nod our heads
and agree with you, even defer or appear to defer to
you. But we assure you that this happens not out of
respect; rather, it arises merely from the fact that
you have a lot of guns and a bad temper. Inside, we
are seething and resentful. Inside, we imagine your
demise in the most vivid and gratifying of ways. We
may fear your irrational and violent behavior, but
we manifestly do not respect or agree with you. We
don't love you. We don't even like you. (See the
part about hate, above.)
At any rate, our revulsion toward you has finally
come to outweigh any fear we have of you. We refuse
to keep our real feelings in for even one more
second. We want you gone from our lives. And we mean
completely. Vamoose. Go. Die.
Please understand we aren't here to argue. No
special new subsidy, tax break, or privileged
"loophole" is going to sway our opinion or make us
change our minds about this. We've been there, done
that, for too many decades to count now. Likewise,
your threats are starting to make us yawn and even
laugh. You see, we know all your tricks now. We can
see through your lies because we've heard them all
so many times before. We are fully aware of your
true nature, and we see that that nature is
radioactive evil, wrapped in a tattered blanket of
ignorance, foolishness, and stupidity.
Look, we know it's only a matter of time anyway.
Your dimwittedness, greed, fraudulence, and moral
bankruptcy are finally starting to catch up to you.
Even your former employees admit as much. Do you
remember Paul Craig Roberts, one of your past
Treasury officials? Today he says of your latest
economy-wrecking and warmongering efforts:
"The world has never seen such total
mindlessness. Napoleon's and Hitler's marches into
Russia were rational acts compared to the mindless
idiocy of the United States government."
Mindless idiocy: We could not have said it better
ourselves. Wait, yes, we could have, because we
would have also mentioned your meanness and
malevolence.
Our state governments are starting to feel the same
way about you that we do. Many are openly refusing
to obey your so-called "REAL ID" attempt at creating
a national "your papers, please" regime of Hitlerian
proportions. Some are even starting to make noises
about the Tenth Amendment, which reiterates that you
aren't allowed to just do anything you feel like
doing. (We are not big fans of our state governments
either, but at least they don't start wars,
counterfeit our money, and prop up tyrannies across
the globe.)
You see? Look in the mirror for once. The emperor
not only hasn't got any clothes, he's a quadruple
amputee demanding that everyone admire his muscular
physique. We don't know whether to laugh at or feel
pity for such a pathetic creature.
In conclusion and just so we're clear: We're done.
Pack up and get out. Better yet, don't pack all
that stuff belongs to us in the first place. Just
get out. And when you finally, mercifully, do kick
the bucket, please make sure it is in some place far
away from us, where we won't have to smell the
stench of your hideous, rotting corpse.
Signed,
Every Normal Human Being in America and the Rest of
the World
February 14, 2009
David Bardallis [send him mail] hails from the
Glorious Sovereign Republic of Michigan (motto:
"Never forget we have all the water!") and blogs at
Suds & Soliloquies.