- 10.Part of Chewbacca now played by a shirtless Ed Asner

- 9. Commander of the Death Star: Dr. Kevorkian

- 8. Land speeders replaced with bitchin' pink Miatas

- 7. Comic relief provided by Cheech Marin as Luke Skywalker's wacky Mexican caddy

- 6. Darth Vader's voice goes up three octaves after Dennis Rodman kicks him in the groin

- 5. Instead of "May the force be with you," Obi-Wan Kenobi says, "Show me da money!"

- 4. Cameo appearance by Bob Dole as Yoda's great-great-grandfather

- 3. Luke and Darth Vader work together to beat the crap out of a bunch of Trekkies

- 2. New scene in which Jabba the Hut is hugged by a sobbing Richard Simmons

- 1. R2D2? Gay